8degreesoflatitude

Richard Laidlaw on things that interest, engage and enrage

The Dos And Don’ts Of Dating A Princess

The intro’s a killer. The rest of it’s a damn good read.

Once upon a time there was a stunningly beautiful Princess called Lara Jonggrang. She was so beautiful and lovely that absolutely everybody wanted to get into her knickers.

Voluptuous Lara lived with her mum, the Queen, and her dad, King Prabu Boko in the west wing at Boko Palace, kingdom of Boko. Java, Indonesia. Lara may have been quite lovely, but her dad was a fearsome man-eating giant who ate children for breakfast and whoever else he fancied for his lunch and dinner. In short he was not the sort of man you would want to get the wrong side of.

The neighbouring kingdom to Boko was Pengging. There were no man-eating giants there, just a wise ruler called King Prabu Damar Moyo and his son, Bandung Bondowoso (cool name eh?) who though not gifted with beauty, had been blessed with pretty awesome super-natural powers.